From Up Above

Have you ever stood up in a high place and looked out over the land? From this height, you can see all that is in front of you and all that is behind you. The new year is just a day away and we are all at this point. Each one of us can look back on the past year and look forward to the new year. As you look back there are regrets and there are happy memories, but what will the next year be like? It may be painful, it may be exhilarating, it may be the same as last year, all we can do is venture down from our high spot and live life to the fullest. If we don't we will never grow but simply fade away into the past. Happy travels and happy New Years.

The Will to Live

Recently I have discovered that I really enjoy being alone. I often find myself just walking, with no goal in mind just meandering along the paths at Harding, and the streets of Searcy. Last night was one of those lonely nights, as I left bible study, I found myself walking down the back streets of Searcy in the dark. My gaze was soon drawn to the sky, where the stars glimmered down upon me. The air was cool and crisp and it left me with a feeling of rejuvenation, after a hard and confusing week. As I strolled along I listened to the title track from Ben Harper's album, The Will to Live. Because I often find myself pondering my purpose here on earth, the songs lyrics struck a deep chord in my soul.

I met a girl whose heart
was on the right hand side
and upon the left
an angel did reside
they told her mother
that she never would survive
but she kept the rhythm
and is still alive

We must all have
the will to live
you got to have
the will to live

Then I met a man
who had to walk with his hands
born into a world
he couldn't stand
blessed with life
but cursed as a man
still he walks taller
than most of us can

We must all have
the will to live
you got to have
the will to live

Some are born with more
and some born with less
so don't take for granted
the life we've been blessed
it's hard to understand
that we're only a guest
and each one of us
shall be put to life's test

We must all have
the will to live
you got to have
the will to live

As these lyrics passed through my brain, I realized how fortunate and blessed my life has been. I came to an understanding that the trials that I face in life, are small compared to many of those in this world. A feeling of serenity came over my body, and I lifted my eyes up to the heavens and looked upon the stars in peaceful meditation. I know that my purpose in life will come to me someday, but until then I will just keep on living. Do you have the will to live?

My First Week of College

I just finished my first week as a student at Harding University. In truth, I must say that college is just like high school, only it cost a whole lot of money. I believed that being a university student would some how drastically change my entire being, the way I socialized with other people, the things I do, and so forth. In some ways it has.

Throughout my years in high school, I hid a shy young man, within a know-it-all, obnoxious, carefree skin. Just as a snake sheds his skin, I have shed my skin, and I have allowed what has been inside of me all along to arise. Now, my quiet shy inner being has in some way become my outwardly self. Sometimes, during the last week I would find myself wishing that I had a shell to retreat back into. I found myself longing for alone time, wanting to slip away to my room and listen to music. Music has become a source of freedom, it is becoming an extension of my mind. I always have a song going on in my head. There are different musical styles for each and every mood I have, it is as if the music understands me.

Work is almost the same as it always has been. When I step behind the counter, all my confidence comes back. I realize that I am special, I mean seriously how many college freshmen have a job at Midnight Oil. At work, I am not shy at all. This confuses me, why do I have two personalities, the outgoing and the shy? Who am I? I really don't know anymore.

One thing has changed at work, Steven (my oldest brother and former manager at MO) moved to New Jersey today. For very selfish reasons, I wanted him to stay here in Searcy with me. Every since I started working with him, we have had the best relationship. We suddenly got along, and even did some things together. Now, he is gone. I didn't want him to leave, but I know that New Jersey is what Steven needs. So Steven, if you read this I miss you, but I wish you good luck in your new adventures.

And that has been my first week of college, altogether a very interesting experience.